THE FOUR SEASONS AND HOW THEY RELATE TO MARRIAGE
LIFE
BY DR GLORIA MASEKO
INTRODUCTION
There
is time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven- Ecclesiastes 3 v 8 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
It is beyond
dispute that no marriage can be said to be untouchable when we talk of challenges.
Hence we cannot talk of a perfect marriage because there is none, but you have
to understand that you can have a better marriage than you do now. “God did not
create perfect people he created powerful people with potential. I have the courage of my own conviction to say
that “no marriage is hopeless”. In comparison to the four seasons, no season is
hopeless.
Marriage is
continually in a process of change, and hence continues to move from one season
to another. Note that this is not annually as in nature, but just as certainly
and consistently. There are four seasons in marriage. It will be described how marriage
commonly moves from one season to another. That is it may be from summer to autumn
or perhaps from winter to spring. Throughout the years of marriage the cycle of
seasons repeats itself numerous times over the long course of marriage.
Just like there are
four seasons there are four lessons to learn in life that are crucial and
demonstrate the art of exceptional living. Husbands and wives should note that
“God designed our
differences to be assets and not liabilities. There is always a positive side
of our uniqueness. “When people laugh at you because you are different, laugh
at them because it means they are all the same.”
SUMMER
"Enjoy
life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that
God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot
in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun." Ecclesiastes 9:9
Marriages undergoing this season of summer are
characterized by the husband and wife have a positive attitude about their
marriage. They strive by all means to protect themselves from the scorching
heat of the summer. They do this by using a fan to
blow the cold air upon them hence cooling themselves. During the summer they
are enjoying their spouse and they intend to continue “watering their marriage”
to prevent the sun from drying it. It is the positive actions that keep the
happiness flowing in summer.
LESSON:
A.
PROTECT YOUR SUMMER
After you have planted your seeds in spring,
summer will then come. This is a time that plants grow rapidly. In comparison
to marriage, planting the seed in spring can be compared to that you have just
made an important decision to get married; the coming of the summer where
plants grow rapidly mirrors the rapid growth of your marriage that is filled nothing else but excitement. This is the time when you can reap the
benefit of your marriage. Despite it being a time of great joy and comfort be
warned this is also a time to be careful.
This is because
“All good will be attacked”. Just like crops in summer they can be stolen /
destroyed /spoiled. It is imperative that you must do whatever it takes to
protect your crops, similarly do so to your marriage. Know that once you have
achieved something you must defend and stand up for it, and protect its value;
otherwise you may find yourself losing it.
WINTER
"Be
strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God
is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
"Be
strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God
is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
The coldest months
are winter, the days are short darkness abounds and the weather is cold, no rain
and harsh. Life lies dormant and
death strikes the land similarly in the life of marriage when winter occurs for
a couple tend to feel uncertain or less hopeful about where their marriage is
heading. Note that the couple is aware
that things are not right. The couple is
also troubled by their state of relationship.
The marriages
undergoing winter are characterized by coldness, harshness and bitterness and
sudden death in emotions for one another. Note that the despite the
difficulties of the winter season, this season is not altogether purposeless. Winter
in marriages is important as it serves as a wake up call to stimulate marital
growth. Good uses marital winter for good. Couples emerge stronger when they
learn to persevere and begin to take positive steps to improve their marriage.
It is imperative to
note that all couples have differences and also face difficulties. Note that
the real problem comes when couples fail to negotiate their differences and
this will be then that the couple may find themselves in the middle of winter-
which is a season of marriage created not by difficulties but by the manner in
which a couple responds to those difficulties.
LESSON
B.
HANDLE YOUR WINTERS
It is obvious that every year winter comes. It
always comes and in nature we deal with it by preparing for it. This is either
by changing our clothing or by changing our way of life. But all in all we get ready
for the winter; because we know that it is coming.
This principle applies to your life. Rough and tough
times will come. Know and understand that tough times never last but tough
people do. Understand that there is no sailing in the calm waters. B ready for
the winter so that you don’t find yourself stuck in the winter without a coat.
Be ready to handle the winters in your life.
SPRING
"For
I know the plans I have for you," declares The Lord, "plans to
prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11
If we are tired of the winter we should then
feel the hope of having spring time again. We must recognize that our negative
thinking must change. Spring time is characterized with ideas of rebirth,
rejuvenation, renewal, resurrection, regrowth
If we appreciate the springtime we will be able
to demonstrate attitudes of optimism, gratitude, love and trust. We will enjoy
the blossoming of spring in our marriages. Note that this attitudes lead to
positive actions.
LESSON
C.
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE SPRING
It is imperative to
note that after long winters we have spring coming. The flowers blossom and
creatures come out of their hibernation. The same applies to your marriage life
because this is the time when opportunities arise after a challenging time. It is
your duty to take full advantage of the spring when they pop up.
This should be your
moment to plant seeds of greatness to come in your marriage. Know that you will
never be able to see the beauty of nature
and nature in this planet earth if you choose not to awaken one year in
spring. It does give the planet beauty because it is meant to do so. Hence hold
your own existence to the same standard. Make your spring time the spring board
to get ting where you want to go.
AUTUMN
"Trust
in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In
all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
It’s also a time when many trees and plants are
fruiting and this provides valuable food for the birds right through autumn and
often well into the winter months too.
The weather grows
increasingly stormy. Life is in transition in preparation for hardships. Autumn
is the best time to take full responsibility of what happened in the previous
seasons. That is both good and bad. This is the best time to learn the lessons
that the previous seasons have taught you and put everything into perspective.
Autumn can be said
to be the time of the year where there is depression than any other season.
This is merely because people are taking responsibility and learning from
previous successes and mistakes. Know that only when they do so will they be
able to handle another winter that is coming and plan for the following spring
and summer.
LESSON
D.
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY IN THE AUTUMN
The trees change color
, and lose their leaves and the weather gets cooler as the autumn comes and you
gear up for the next winter. You need to be like coffee granules when put in
boiling water, change the colour of the situation you find yourself in. Don’t
lose real friends for fake reasons but lose fake friends for real reasons.
CONCLUSION
“And we know that all things
work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according
to His purpose.” Romans 8:28
There is need as couples to pay considerable
attention to attitudes that either benefit or harm our marriage. As long as we
rationalize our negative attitude as legitimate, these attitudes will never
change.
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