THE FOUR SEASONS AND HOW THEY RELATE TO MARRIAGE LIFE

BY DR GLORIA MASEKO

INTRODUCTION

There is time for everything and a season for every activity  under heaven- Ecclesiastes 3 v 8     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

It is beyond dispute that no marriage can be said to be untouchable when we talk of challenges. Hence we cannot talk of a perfect marriage because there is none, but you have to understand that you can have a better marriage than you do now. “God did not create perfect people he created powerful people with potential.  I have the courage of my own conviction to say that “no marriage is hopeless”. In comparison to the four seasons, no season is hopeless.        

Marriage is continually in a process of change, and hence continues to move from one season to another. Note that this is not annually as in nature, but just as certainly and consistently. There are four seasons in marriage. It will be described how marriage commonly moves from one season to another. That is it may be from summer to autumn or perhaps from winter to spring. Throughout the years of marriage the cycle of seasons repeats itself numerous times over the long course of marriage.

Just like there are four seasons there are four lessons to learn in life that are crucial and demonstrate the art of exceptional living. Husbands and wives should note that

“God designed our differences to be assets and not liabilities. There is always a positive side of our uniqueness. “When people laugh at you because you are different, laugh at them because it means they are all the same.”

SUMMER

"Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun." Ecclesiastes 9:9

Marriages undergoing this season of summer are characterized by the husband and wife have a positive attitude about their marriage. They strive by all means to protect themselves from the scorching heat   of the summer. They do this by using a fan to blow the cold air upon them hence cooling themselves. During the summer they are enjoying their spouse and they intend to continue “watering their marriage” to prevent the sun from drying it. It is the positive actions that keep the happiness flowing in summer.

LESSON:

A.    PROTECT YOUR SUMMER

After you have planted your seeds in spring, summer will then come. This is a time that plants grow rapidly. In comparison to marriage, planting the seed in spring can be compared to that you have just made an important decision to get married; the coming of the summer where plants grow rapidly mirrors the rapid growth of your marriage that is filled  nothing else but excitement.  This is the time when you can reap the benefit of your marriage. Despite it being a time of great joy and comfort be warned this is also a time to be careful.

This is because “All good will be attacked”. Just like crops in summer they can be stolen / destroyed /spoiled. It is imperative that you must do whatever it takes to protect your crops, similarly do so to your marriage. Know that once you have achieved something you must defend and stand up for it, and protect its value; otherwise you may find yourself losing it.

WINTER

"Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

The coldest months are winter, the days are short darkness abounds and the weather is cold, no rain and harsh. Life lies dormant and death strikes the land similarly in the life of marriage when winter occurs for a couple tend to feel uncertain or less hopeful about where their marriage is heading. Note that  the couple is aware that things are not right.  The couple is also troubled by their state of relationship.

The marriages undergoing winter are characterized by coldness, harshness and bitterness and sudden death in emotions for one another. Note that the despite the difficulties of the winter season, this season is not altogether purposeless. Winter in marriages is important as it serves as a wake up call to stimulate marital growth. Good uses marital winter for good. Couples emerge stronger when they learn to persevere and begin to take positive steps to improve their marriage.

It is imperative to note that all couples have differences and also face difficulties. Note that the real problem comes when couples fail to negotiate their differences and this will be then that the couple may find themselves in the middle of winter- which is a season of marriage created not by difficulties but by the manner in which a couple responds to those difficulties.

LESSON

B.      HANDLE YOUR WINTERS

It is obvious that every year winter comes. It always comes and in nature we deal with it by preparing for it. This is either by changing our clothing or by changing our way of life. But all in all we get ready for the winter; because we know that it is coming.

This principle applies to your life. Rough and tough times will come. Know and understand that tough times never last but tough people do. Understand that there is no sailing in the calm waters. B ready for the winter so that you don’t find yourself stuck in the winter without a coat. Be ready to handle the winters in your life.

SPRING

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares The Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

If we are tired of the winter we should then feel the hope of having spring time again. We must recognize that our negative thinking must change. Spring time is characterized with ideas of rebirth, rejuvenation, renewal, resurrection, regrowth

If we appreciate the springtime we will be able to demonstrate attitudes of optimism, gratitude, love and trust. We will enjoy the blossoming of spring in our marriages. Note that this attitudes lead to positive actions.

LESSON

C.    TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE SPRING

It is imperative to note that after long winters we have spring coming. The flowers blossom and creatures come out of their hibernation. The same applies to your marriage life because this is the time when opportunities arise after a challenging time. It is your duty to take full advantage of the spring when they pop up.

This should be your moment to plant seeds of greatness to come in your marriage. Know that you will never be able to see the beauty of nature  and nature in this planet earth if you choose not to awaken one year in spring. It does give the planet beauty because it is meant to do so. Hence hold your own existence to the same standard. Make your spring time the spring board to get ting where you want to go.

AUTUMN

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

It’s also a time when many trees and plants are fruiting and this provides valuable food for the birds right through autumn and often well into the winter months too.

The weather grows increasingly stormy. Life is in transition in preparation for hardships. Autumn is the best time to take full responsibility of what happened in the previous seasons. That is both good and bad. This is the best time to learn the lessons that the previous seasons have taught you and put everything into perspective.

Autumn can be said to be the time of the year where there is depression than any other season. This is merely because people are taking responsibility and learning from previous successes and mistakes. Know that only when they do so will they be able to handle another winter that is coming and plan for the following spring and summer.

LESSON

D.    TAKE RESPONSIBILITY IN THE AUTUMN

The trees change color , and lose their leaves and the weather gets cooler as the autumn comes and you gear up for the next winter. You need to be like coffee granules when put in boiling water, change the colour of the situation you find yourself in. Don’t lose real friends for fake reasons but lose fake friends for real reasons.

CONCLUSION

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

There is need as couples to pay considerable attention to attitudes that either benefit or harm our marriage. As long as we rationalize our negative attitude as legitimate, these attitudes will never change.