“DON’T BE LIKE AN OSTRICH”

DR GLORIA MASEKO

The way Ostrich react to danger is may sound weird since it sticks its head in the ground.

Lesson 1: Face your fears. F.E.A.R. False Evidence Appearing Real.  Everyone has faith, it is either you have faith in God or you have faith in your fears. The fears we do not face become our limits. The greatest prison that people live in is the fear of what other people think. Don’t let the fear of what might happen make nothing happen.

Do not be afraid of the enemy that attacks you, but the fake friend that hugs you. Never be ashamed of a scar, it simply means you were stronger than whatever tried to hurt you. The same crowd that celebrates your success is the same crowd that celebrates your downfall. Its nature people like a show.

Nelson Mandela: “I learnt that courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

Nelson Mandela: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that frightens us the most. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and famous. Actually the right question is who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. Its not in some of us, its in all of us. And when we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same

Even more surprisingly when there is a storm in the desert, in the midst of a storm the ostrich buries its head in the sand. The sad part is the ostrich is then buried under the heap of sand and eventually dies from the pressure of the sand.

Lesson 2: When we find ourselves in a situation where we faced with a lot of problems, we complain in an unhappy way or try to ignore the problems believing the problems will go away on their own. Know and understand that each and every one of us has a problem, do not see yourself as having the worst problems than anybody.

If we were to write our problems and write them in a piece of paper and be made to pick other peoples papers and make their problems ours. We would definitely run after people who have our problems to claim them back.

Lesson 3: Come to terms that this is your problem and it is you who is going to solve it. If you are not patient in life you will become a patient. Don’t expect things to just happen drastically.

Women try to bury themselves in makeup and clothing so that people do not realize what is going inside of them. They try by all means to look good. Do not use make up to bury yourself, deal with the problem itself

Lesson 4:  Do not blame anyone for your problems:; it is neither   the society, culture parent and circumstances of life. We are not products of our circumstances but circumstances are products of our actions. Do not use your intellect to try and solve problems.

Lesson 5; every problem will definitely end, this also applies to the storm the ostrich faces. Never make a mistake of dealing with the problem all at once. Hence some circumstances will require you   to take a step and then you wait for a long time.

Mourning endures the night but joy comes in the morning.

The ostrich has powerful legs which it can use as a weapon against predators, but instead it runs away

Lesson 6; Do not run away from your problems, there will remain there waiting for you. The power is within you and know that the greatest enemy is yourself. Do not look somewhere else what you are looking for is right inside of you

Psalms 46 v 1; God is or refuge and strength and ready to help us in time of trouble

                                               

       THE AFRICAN IMPALA: LESSONS LEARNT

DR GLORIA MASEKO

INTRODUCTION

It is amazing  that an African impala which is enclosed in a zoo can jump 10 feet high and cover a distance of more than 30 feet dismally  fail to jump a 3 foot fence.  What is interesting is that African Impalas won’t jump if they can’t see where their feet will land. This   clearly explains why Impalas stay trapped this is because they refuse to go where they can’t see!  Humans are in several ways similar to the African Impala.

Lesson- live beyond your sight - 2 Corinthians 4v18 While we look not at things seen, but things unseen for things seen are temporary, but the things that are not seen are eternal

Hebrews 9 v1 Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen

Each and everyone of us have a choice are to live our lives depending on our sight and what it makes us to see. Or we can decide to live our lives based on the unseen things at the moment and what could be on the future. When you loose your patience you become a patient. My advice will be to say to you take the option of living your life  based on the unseen things  and what could be in the future, that is the best option you'll ever make because you will dream big.

All people are born originals but most die as copies. To hear this at first encounter that you are supposed to live beyond our sight may seem strange, but it not weird. This is because all the greatest accomplishments in the world have been made by people who believed that seeing beyond their sight was the way to go in life.

Almost everything we enjoy today was impossible yesterday. So you know what transforms impossibility into a possibility, a probability into a fact – its commitment.   Deep inside you lives an impossible thought, a dream come true. There is a mission residing in you – and at the end you should say mission accomplished. The good news is that God wants us to do more than we can imagine. When you take one step towards God, he will take more steps towards you than you could ever count.  He longs to take our impossibilities and turn them into possibilities

Lesson 2:  Have a vision of what you want to be and do. Proverb 29 v18 where there is no vision people perish (KJV)

If you want to walk on water get out of the boat. For many years “safety first” has been the motto for the human race……… but it has never been a motto for the leaders. If you never take risks you will never accomplish great things. Everybody dies, but not everyone has lived” you need to live. People who are too cautious never go anywhere. So take a chance, take charge, and take control that will definitely change your direction. When you have a vision you will be unstoppable even when barriers of life try to stop you.

Lesson 3: Have Faith Corinthians 13v5 “Examine yourselves as to whether you are in faith”

Feed your faith and watch your doubts starve to death. Worry is a route that leads from somewhere to nowhere, never let worry direct your life. Worry is like a rocking chair it gives you something to do but doesn’t get you anywhere. Worry does not take away today's problems it takes away today's happiness. Fear of the future is a waste of the present. Fear not tomorrow because God is already there.

Lesson 4: without Faith and Vision You’re Trapped

Circumstances and situations of life will keep you caged like an African Impala if you don’t have vision and faith. Life is too short to think small. You never know what you can do until you try it. If you can dream about something it shows you can do it. Everything started as a dream. Don’t allow people to put limitations for you. If you move with the crowd you will never move further away from the crowd. But if you walk alone you will see and be at places you have never been before. If you put a limit on what you can do, you put a limit on what you will do.

THE LIFE OF A LION: LESSONS LEARNT FROM THE KING OF THE JUNGLE

DR GLORIA MASEKO

BACKGROUND- FAILURE

Get up one more time than you have fallen. Don’t spend your life standing on the complaints counter. It’s not how many times you have fallen but how many times you rise when you have fallen. The fact that you have fallen is a proof that you are not finished. Failure is not the opposite of success but it is part of success.

Every obstacle introduces a man to himself. How you respond to obstacles is of ultimate importance and makes a difference. Let each new obstacle lift you to the next level. Every problem has a soft spot- there is a solution. Obstacle is what we see when we take our eyes off the goal. Failure is not a fact it is just an opinion. Failure is an opportunity to start over more intelligently. You don’t drown by falling into water, you drown by staying there, from failure learn the lesson and not the details, and don’t become like a scalded dog. Failure can be a weight or it can give you wings. You are like a tea bag, your worthiness is seen when you have gone through hot water.

If you look backward too much, you will soon be heading that way. Stop looking at where you have been and look at where you can be. The more you look back, the less you will go ahead. When you dwell in the past, you stop growing and start dying. Like the dreams of tomorrow than the history of the past .Your past cannot be changed but you can change your tomorrow by your actions today.

INTRODUCTION

The most important thing is what flashes in our mind when you think of a lion, hear about it or see it? The following crosses everyone mind when the thought of a lion crosses one’s mind. Its magnificent appearance- look impressive and portray yourself a winner.

Its majestic bearing- its quiet impressive to look big, even though people don’t look at you that way. There is something inside of you greater than the obstacles you face

Its boldness- always speak your thoughts loudly and strongly with a lot of energy Its fierceness. Do not be afraid to take risks and make difficult decisions.  Be confident enough to say what is right, despite the fact that people will be offended People always want you to say what they want to hear. Without disputing any of your thoughts, you will agree with me that the Lion is a very special animal hence the reason it is referred to as the king of the jungle. There are seven principles that anyone inspiring to be a leader should dream to have

PRINCIPLE1: LION’S ROAR CAN BE HEARD FROM FIVE MILES AWAY

In addition there are a vast number of animals that are better hunters than the lion and have demonstrated the art of having stamina than the lion. What makes the lion the most fearsome animal to walk the earth is its voice. What you can do now is the only influence you have over your future.

Lesson: Ensure that your voice is heard

Be like a lion, come out of the masses, stand out alone like a lion and live your life according to your own light.

You may have an idea, a vision, a dream but if these are not put into action it is useless .Start with what you have, don’t wait for what you don’t have. The grave is the richest place with undiscovered talent and ideas that have not been put into use. Be afraid of a man with an idea than a man with money. No one will ever know the good intentions that you have until you voice them out , then people around you will come to realization how noble  your intentions  are. You can become the person you want to be.

Human beings have two fears in life and these are the fear to begin and the fear to fail.  It cannot be disputed that there are animals that are faster than the lion, bigger and stronger than the lion We don’t need more strength, ability or opportunity, use what you have Don’t accept that others know you better than yourself. The truth is we are all in this together by ourselves. The truth is like a lion: you don’t have to defend it, let it loose: it will defend itself.

A wise man speaks because he has something to say but a foolish person speaks because he has to say something. If you have a talent or gifts use it. The Lion knows that its roar is heard everywhere it goes which is its reputation this makes the lion the best possible example of boldness.  Ensure that you increase your reputation your boldness will increase as well. If you can’t fly , then  run , if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk, then crawl but one thing for show any of these will take you from one point to another. A tortoise cannot go anywhere unless it sticks out its head. Stand out don’t blend in.

PRINCIPLE 2: LIONS SHARE BY LEAVING LEFT OVERS FOR HYENAS AND VULTURES

Lions rarely eat entire prey. Whatever good happens in your life is not so that you can keep it all to yourself. Part of it is intended to be given to others.

Lesson: giving is a proof that you have conquered greed. The test of generosity is not necessarily how much you give but how much you have left.  The secret of living is giving Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting Elizabeth Bibesco)

PRINCIPLE 3: Something Dominates in every life

Male Lions defend the pride’s territory while females go to hunt. Despite this the male gets to eat first

LESSON:  Delegation of responsibilities is very important .Giving task does not mean you are giving room to be undermined. You are actually appreciating ones skills and ability which are important in the organization or in the family. Don’t give all your work out and laze out, it’s not delegation now but laziness. True leadership begins with servant hood.

The man who believes in nothing but himself lives in a small world .Don’t think too much of yourself. Change your favorite word from “I “to “you”. A selfish person is abnormal, with a big head because they think they know everything, long arms to give themselves a pat on the back. Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.

PRINCIPLE 4: LIONS ARE VERY SOCIAL ANIMALS

There is need to interact with others in order to be a better person. Who you choose to be your close associate is the most important decision you will make during your life. You will become like those that you closely associate with. Friends are like pillars, sometimes they hold you up, sometimes they lean on you, and sometimes its just enough to know they are standing by.

Do you know why we have spaces in between our fingers: So that someone who love us may come and hold our hand and tell us it will be okay. A smile is a curve you throw at someone and it always result in a hit. Confidence is not about people loving you it is about people not loving you and you are okay with it. When people don’t love you, shoot then with a smile and bury them with your success and dance on their grave. A person who want to reach their destination do not stop for every barking dog.

PRINCIPLE 5 IT iS NOT ABOUT SPEED BUT ACCURACY

The slow movement of a lion doesn’t show weakness or tiredness.

 but rather a calculated steps to get its prey. Lion grabs its prey by the neck and holds on to it to suffocate it until it is dead

Lesson

In life you do one thing at a time and hold on to it. One action is better than a thousand intentions. Never bother how fast people are moving. Move at your own pace and trust God to see you through. Remember it is not how fast you build your house but it is how firm and strong your building will be when it is done. Just like a mango tree, its fruits do not ripe at the same time. Your mango will ripen one day.

PRINCIPLE 6:  A LION CAN SPEND UP TO 20 HOURS SLEEPING: 

Lesson: 

Don’t be a slave find time to relax .Don’t be tempted to work until you collapse as it has now become a norm in our society. Every day we have a schedule of activities that run throughout the day. We run after meeting targets, reaching goals and forget we need the “me time.” We are always overworked and exhausted but we do not find the need to rest and relax. A lion is an epitome of need to relax, despite that it has to eat it goes on to relax for more than half a day. Ironically work cannot finish, and the more you do it , the more that is still left for you. Hence ensure you always have time to rest in your schedule.

PRINCIPLE 7: THE LION IS CONFIDENT

If you put a limit on what you can do, you put a limit on what you will do. “ No matter the condition of the jungle, I will not eat grass, it is not pride, it is who I am".

The truth is like a lion, you can not defend it. you set it free it will defend itself.

The moment you allow the lion inside of you to roar; you will not be afraid of the crowd and that marks your time  not to be a sheep but you become a lion

Lesson

The greatest fear in the world is of the opinions of others and the moment you are unafraid of the crowd, you are no longer a sheep, you become a lion, a great roar arises in your heart, the roar of freedom.  osho

Do not take short cuts in your life, don’t find an easy way out. All things start from the bottom to the top, except digging the grave, and by that time it will be finished with you, you won’t dig your own grave, people will do it for you.

UNDERSTANDING YOUR SPOUSE LOVE LANGUAGE

By Dr Gloria Maseko

INTRODUCTION

"Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:12

The five ways to express and experience love is what Chapman calls ‘love language’. People are emotional and hence they need to receive love. The need for people to be loved is best explained by the’ love tank’. Each person has one primary and one secondary love language.

There are five different ways in which a human being gives and receives love. These are as follows:

v  Words of Affirmation (Verbal Appreciation)

v  Acts of service (Devotion)

v  Receiving Gifts

v  Quality Time

v  Physical touch

Words of Affirmation (Verbal Appreciation)

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24

The people who belong to this love language want appreciation from their loved ones such as ‘I love you’, ‘job well done’, ‘you look gorgeous/ stunning’.  They like it when you compliment appearance. ‘That’s my baby’. This makes them feel acknowledged for things they are doing right.  They feel loved when they are appreciated. They need regular praise.  In addition they too have daily affirmations that they make when they are down.  Talking things through with others really helps them. These are the things to do if your spouse love language is Words of Affirmation:

v  Tell your spouse you love him/her

v  Congratulate him/her on his accomplishment

v  Praise his best qualities (especially in front of people)

v  Thank your spouse for working hard for your family

v  Tell him you still find him sexy after all these years

Acts of service (Devotion)

Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me” (Matthew, 40.)

This group believes that ‘actions speak louder than words’. It makes them  upset when people don’t keep their words. To them Tangible expression of love mean the most. They feel loved when they are helped with chores and projects in the house. They are inspired when people pitch in to help them. To the acts of service, ‘let me take care of you’ are the words that make their day. They appreciate the many things done to them. These are the things to do if your spouse love language is Acts of service:

v  Cook his/her favourite meal

v  Take the kids for shopping so he/she can enjoy some peace and quietness

v  Make sure the house is clean before he/she comes

v  Take his/her car for service or car wash

v  Help him find things he has lost

Receiving Gifts

Proverbs 3:27

Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it.

Proverbs 21:26

…the righteous gives and does not hold back.

This group is characterized by valuing gifts no matter how little these are it makes them happy since they feel someone was thinking of them. To them gifts are highly important to them They appreciate the many things you do for them. They believe in tangible expression of love or heartfelt gifts. They cherish letters and messages sent to them. Most importantly receiving gifts on most important days like birthday, anniversary, and valentine makes them to be overwhelmed with joy.

 They look forward to lunch dates with friends. To them several inexpensive gifts mean a lot to them than one large expensive gift. They never forget it when you surprise them with a gift as long as they live. They have little gifts with sentimental value at their desk. These people it is easy to notice them because they even put a lot of time into the gifts they give. These are the things to do if your spouse love language is Receiving gifts:

v  Buy him a card just because it makes their day

v  Buy him/her their favourite snacks from grocery store

v  Buy him a tool or a gadget he/she had always wanted

v  Never forget his/her birthday, anniversary, valentine  or any gift giving occasion

v  Bring him a souvenir anytime you take a trip

Quality Time

Hebrews 10:24-25

²⁴ And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, ²⁵ not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

The loyal members of this group like spending one on one time with those they love. They crave for focused attention. To them togetherness makes them feel loved. These people value conversation and closeness. They like it when their feelings are understood. These people demand undivided attention. They feel unloved when you interrupt them and you half listen. To them eye contact tells them someone really cares, it is assurance that someone is listening to them. These are the things to do if your spouse love language is Quality Time:

v  Stop multi tasking and give him/her full attention

v  Watch football together or whatever sport he/she likes

v  Run errands together

v  Have regular  night date without kids

v  Eat dinner together with TV off

Physical touch

John 13 v 5 and after that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples feet, drying them with a towel that was wrapped around him.

³⁴ A new command I give you: love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. ³⁵ By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.

Jesus loved deeply and demonstrated that love. Jesus understood the power of touch.

To this group nothing says I love you more than a big warm hug. This is the kind of people who physical touch makes them feel valued and makes the best part of their day. If they had a long day it helps them forget it. This includes holding hands, giving back rubs, a massage, cuddling and sexual contact. They value affection and warm embraces. An unexpected kiss makes them feel loved and they enjoy slow dancing with the one they love. They also need to be held when they are sick. These are the things to do if your spouse love language is Physical Touch:

v  Kiss him/her before he/she leaves for work

v  Give him/her a massage

v  Hold hands

v  Cuddle on the couch to watch a movie

v  Randomly give him/her that touchy when you walk by him/her.

Note that the list is endless, you may add to it.

HOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND YOUR SPOUSE LOVE LAUNGUAGE

  It is most likely that If you are not speaking your partners love language he or she likely does not feeling loved by you specifically. Unhappiness in marriages often has a simple root cause: ‘we speak different love languages’. Then the question is how do you discover your spouse‘s and your own love language. If speaking your spouse love language is the key to meet your spouse needs for emotional love.

Then the big question is how do you discover what love language he/she speaks. Lifelong learning about your spouse requires time, communication, persistence, imagination, patience and perseverance. is possible to find another person’s love language by asking them questions on the five love language quiz Understand that peoples love language do not change over time but instead develop and need to be nurtured in different ways.

You don’t have to fear, because you can learn the language. 2 Timothy 1v7 (NKJV) “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of sound mind

 

v  Learn God’s plan for families

v  Love your spouse unconditionally

v  Observe the way he/she expresses love to others

v  Analyze what he/she complains most often

v  Note what he/she requests from their partner (understanding your spouse’s primary language)

Learn God’s plan for Families

 As for me and my family we will serve the lord- Joshua 24 v15. When the tank is full, that is genuinely loved feeling loved, the spouse appears normal and adjusted and the world is beautiful. Contrary when the tank is empty, the spouse has many internal struggles especially emotional ones.  

As for married people the person we would most like to have love us is our spouse. If we feel loved by our spouse the world looks bright, but if our love tank is empty the world begins to look rather dark.      

Love your spouse unconditionally  

1John 4; 19 We love because he first loved us

Romans 5; 5 God poured his love into our hearts by the holy spirit

Likewise, when you pour out your love by speaking your spouse love language, you are doing the most emotionally powerful thing to do. Your Spouse desperately needs emotional love from you. As your spouse love tank begins to fill, there is good chance that he or she will begin to reciprocate.

A full love tank creates a positive atmosphere in which you and your spouse can talk about your differences more easily and negotiate solutions to your conflicts.

Hard cold hearts of men and women melt when they begin to receive love in their love language. Love is the most powerful weapon in the world for good. It has the ability to thaw the coldest of winters  and bring blossoms of spring to your marriages.

Observe the way he/she expresses love to others

According to the love language concept, the way you feel loved is also the way you show love people. People tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer receive love. People should not use the love languages that they like most but rather the love languages that their loved ones can receive.

Analyze what he/she complains most often

Listen to your souse complaints. Here are five common complaints and the love language that each reveals.

v  You mean you did not bring me anything? Did you even miss me while you were away-  Receiving gifts

v  We never spend any time together anymore we are like strangers- quality time

v  I don’t think you would touch me if I did not initiate it- physical touch

v  I cannot do anything right around here. All you ever do is criticize . I can never please you- Words of affirmation

v  If you loved me you would do something  around here you never lift a finger to help – Acts of service

Usually when spouse complains we get irritated. But he/she is giving us valuable information.

Note what he/she requests from their partner (understanding your spouse’s primary language)

Understanding your spouse’s primary love language and learning to speak it can make a world of difference in your marriage.

With marriages in the Autumn and winter season- This is often the case, you will find that one spouse becomes concerned enough about the marriage (to read books on marriage, attend seminar, go for counseling, attend couples dinner) while the other spouse is unwilling to do anything.                                  

Have open ended questions in order to keep communication flowing smoothly.

1.      What do you think about…..

2.      What most concerns you about…..

3.      Can you help me understand………   

THE FOUR SEASONS AND HOW THEY RELATE TO MARRIAGE LIFE

BY DR GLORIA MASEKO

INTRODUCTION

There is time for everything and a season for every activity  under heaven- Ecclesiastes 3 v 8     a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³     a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴     a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵     a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
⁶     a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷     a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
⁸     a time to love and a time to hate,
    a time for war and a time for peace.

It is beyond dispute that no marriage can be said to be untouchable when we talk of challenges. Hence we cannot talk of a perfect marriage because there is none, but you have to understand that you can have a better marriage than you do now. “God did not create perfect people he created powerful people with potential.  I have the courage of my own conviction to say that “no marriage is hopeless”. In comparison to the four seasons, no season is hopeless.        

Marriage is continually in a process of change, and hence continues to move from one season to another. Note that this is not annually as in nature, but just as certainly and consistently. There are four seasons in marriage. It will be described how marriage commonly moves from one season to another. That is it may be from summer to autumn or perhaps from winter to spring. Throughout the years of marriage the cycle of seasons repeats itself numerous times over the long course of marriage.

Just like there are four seasons there are four lessons to learn in life that are crucial and demonstrate the art of exceptional living. Husbands and wives should note that

“God designed our differences to be assets and not liabilities. There is always a positive side of our uniqueness. “When people laugh at you because you are different, laugh at them because it means they are all the same.”

SUMMER

"Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun." Ecclesiastes 9:9

Marriages undergoing this season of summer are characterized by the husband and wife have a positive attitude about their marriage. They strive by all means to protect themselves from the scorching heat   of the summer. They do this by using a fan to blow the cold air upon them hence cooling themselves. During the summer they are enjoying their spouse and they intend to continue “watering their marriage” to prevent the sun from drying it. It is the positive actions that keep the happiness flowing in summer.

LESSON:

A.    PROTECT YOUR SUMMER

After you have planted your seeds in spring, summer will then come. This is a time that plants grow rapidly. In comparison to marriage, planting the seed in spring can be compared to that you have just made an important decision to get married; the coming of the summer where plants grow rapidly mirrors the rapid growth of your marriage that is filled  nothing else but excitement.  This is the time when you can reap the benefit of your marriage. Despite it being a time of great joy and comfort be warned this is also a time to be careful.

This is because “All good will be attacked”. Just like crops in summer they can be stolen / destroyed /spoiled. It is imperative that you must do whatever it takes to protect your crops, similarly do so to your marriage. Know that once you have achieved something you must defend and stand up for it, and protect its value; otherwise you may find yourself losing it.

WINTER

"Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

"Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

The coldest months are winter, the days are short darkness abounds and the weather is cold, no rain and harsh. Life lies dormant and death strikes the land similarly in the life of marriage when winter occurs for a couple tend to feel uncertain or less hopeful about where their marriage is heading. Note that  the couple is aware that things are not right.  The couple is also troubled by their state of relationship.

The marriages undergoing winter are characterized by coldness, harshness and bitterness and sudden death in emotions for one another. Note that the despite the difficulties of the winter season, this season is not altogether purposeless. Winter in marriages is important as it serves as a wake up call to stimulate marital growth. Good uses marital winter for good. Couples emerge stronger when they learn to persevere and begin to take positive steps to improve their marriage.

It is imperative to note that all couples have differences and also face difficulties. Note that the real problem comes when couples fail to negotiate their differences and this will be then that the couple may find themselves in the middle of winter- which is a season of marriage created not by difficulties but by the manner in which a couple responds to those difficulties.

LESSON

B.      HANDLE YOUR WINTERS

It is obvious that every year winter comes. It always comes and in nature we deal with it by preparing for it. This is either by changing our clothing or by changing our way of life. But all in all we get ready for the winter; because we know that it is coming.

This principle applies to your life. Rough and tough times will come. Know and understand that tough times never last but tough people do. Understand that there is no sailing in the calm waters. B ready for the winter so that you don’t find yourself stuck in the winter without a coat. Be ready to handle the winters in your life.

SPRING

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares The Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

If we are tired of the winter we should then feel the hope of having spring time again. We must recognize that our negative thinking must change. Spring time is characterized with ideas of rebirth, rejuvenation, renewal, resurrection, regrowth

If we appreciate the springtime we will be able to demonstrate attitudes of optimism, gratitude, love and trust. We will enjoy the blossoming of spring in our marriages. Note that this attitudes lead to positive actions.

LESSON

C.    TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE SPRING

It is imperative to note that after long winters we have spring coming. The flowers blossom and creatures come out of their hibernation. The same applies to your marriage life because this is the time when opportunities arise after a challenging time. It is your duty to take full advantage of the spring when they pop up.

This should be your moment to plant seeds of greatness to come in your marriage. Know that you will never be able to see the beauty of nature  and nature in this planet earth if you choose not to awaken one year in spring. It does give the planet beauty because it is meant to do so. Hence hold your own existence to the same standard. Make your spring time the spring board to get ting where you want to go.

AUTUMN

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." Proverbs 3:5-6

It’s also a time when many trees and plants are fruiting and this provides valuable food for the birds right through autumn and often well into the winter months too.

The weather grows increasingly stormy. Life is in transition in preparation for hardships. Autumn is the best time to take full responsibility of what happened in the previous seasons. That is both good and bad. This is the best time to learn the lessons that the previous seasons have taught you and put everything into perspective.

Autumn can be said to be the time of the year where there is depression than any other season. This is merely because people are taking responsibility and learning from previous successes and mistakes. Know that only when they do so will they be able to handle another winter that is coming and plan for the following spring and summer.

LESSON

D.    TAKE RESPONSIBILITY IN THE AUTUMN

The trees change color , and lose their leaves and the weather gets cooler as the autumn comes and you gear up for the next winter. You need to be like coffee granules when put in boiling water, change the colour of the situation you find yourself in. Don’t lose real friends for fake reasons but lose fake friends for real reasons.

CONCLUSION

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

There is need as couples to pay considerable attention to attitudes that either benefit or harm our marriage. As long as we rationalize our negative attitude as legitimate, these attitudes will never change.